Not-doing – glimpse 5

Another snapshot from my MA dissertation, written in 2017. In my longing for some time to pause, I didn’t want or imagine that it would come via a global pandemic, and yet here we are, here I am…

As my eyes have been opened to my own striving doings, I have noticed more and more the constant striving and need for doing of those around me. I am more alert, more tuned into doing language. As my understanding and self-awareness have changed, the language I use has started to change, yet I am still surrounded by the ‘oughts’, ‘shoulds’, ‘justs’ and ‘sorrys’ that pervade our culture and society. My heart longs for some healing for this world, for time to pause, to connect, to listen, and for us all to make choices from that space. I see how the need for not-doing in me, the need for healing from the damage of doing is mirrored in the world around me. I understand how frightening and alien it is. I understand the powerful drivers that perpetuate the cycle. I understand my fear of not being enough and see my lifetime of doing to prove that I am. Judgement for myself and our world is dissolving and immense compassion and hope is emerging. I have belief that I am enough, and hope that I can know that I am enough in a deep, rooted way. By ‘living it’ and acting from this place, I know that I can heal. I am acting upon my hope that my story, this story, can have a ripple effect, that it can bring some healing to the world, not through trying, but through being.

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